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Emotional and Social Intelligence: The Key to Long-Term Leadership
“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” — Daniel Goleman, author of “Emotional Intelligence” I thought […]
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“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” — Daniel Goleman, author of “Emotional Intelligence”
I thought I would start by hitting you right between the eyes regarding the importance of emotional intelligence — defined as recognizing our own feelings and those of others, motivating ourselves, managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships. And if you find yourself taking exception to any part of the Goleman quote, perhaps you have some blind spots that are getting in your way.
While I didn’t realize it at the time, my first job created my initial foray into the application of emotional and social intelligence.
At 12, I had a newspaper route with about 120 customers. I was a conscientious kid, committed to doing the right thing, and reasonably eager to please. However, it wasn’t too long into my experience delivering papers that I realized some of my customers — in fact, many more than I would have imagined — had different expectations regarding what constituted good customer service.
At first, I was surprised, but as my keen sense of social-awareness kicked in, I began making mental notes about my customers’ various likes and dislikes. I shared those notes with my able-bodied assistant, my 9-year-old brother Chuck, and eventually documented them so that I could have someone handle the route when we were away.
At the same time, I began to notice the things customers did or said that I didn’t like (self-awareness) or that made me upset and pushed my buttons. And while I understood that it was probably not good for business to show my outward displeasure or utter disdain toward a few of the more difficult people, I was left a bit frustrated that I could not figure out a way to have those conversations in an emotionally intelligent way. Intuitively, I realized there must be some way to effectively integrate and master the skills of sharing one’s emotions in a constructive way.
But I had to get past the social scripting about children being seen and not heard and being respectful to adults. This is an example of one of the challenges in getting people to be receptive to the research regarding EQ (emotional quotient) as a leadership imperative, their past scripting and beliefs regarding emotions, the display of emotions, and the importance of connecting with people at the heart level. Most of this scripting occurred at very early ages and many of us have become unconscious as to how these early experiences influence our thinking and behavior.
Think back on some of the more limiting statements or messages that you may have received, or perhaps delivered, regarding emotions and the display of emotions.
§ Boys don’t cry.
§ Showing emotion is a sign of weakness.
§ There is no place for emotion in the workplace.
While I am certainly not advocating “emotions run amok,” I am suggesting a conscious and deliberate effort of strengthening the EQ of all your employees, bearing in mind the following:
§ Emotional intelligence proves to be twice as important as technical skills and IQ combined in achieving excellent job performance.
§ 90 percent of the difference between stars and average performers at the senior leadership level is attributed to emotional intelligence rather than cognitive ability.
§ Emotional intelligence can be developed and the effective application of it is challenging and requires consistent practice and support. It is not about suppressing your emotions, or being soft. It involves recognizing how you’re feeling moment to moment and finding ways to express and channel these emotions in constructive ways.
§ Cultivating practices that enhance your abilities in the emotional-intelligence clusters of self-awareness, self management, social awareness, and relationship management are critical for long-term leadership effectiveness and success. It’s about intent and action, noticing the impact that emotions expressed and suppressed have on your culture.
Start small by just noticing what you notice. Spend a few minutes a couple times a day to stop, quiet your thinking, and get reconnected to your body. Use this mind-body connection to alert you in advance of the strong emotional reactions that you have to whatever is going on in your world.
“The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice there is little we can do to change until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and beliefs.” — Daniel Goleman
Ralph Simone is the founder of Productivity Leadership Systems (PLS). Contact him at Ralph@DiscoverPLS.com
New Yorkers and Their Elections
Dear people of New York City: We do not understand. Some of us who live Upstate. We do not understand. Wait. Let me put that into Big Apple lingo: What??? Are youse nuts or sumpin’? I refer to your upcoming election. You are going to elect a new mayor who is so liberal Fidel could
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Dear people of New York City: We do not understand. Some of us who live Upstate. We do not understand.
Wait. Let me put that into Big Apple lingo: What??? Are youse nuts or sumpin’?
I refer to your upcoming election. You are going to elect a new mayor who is so liberal Fidel could take lessons from him. And he is promising to reverse basic policies that have made the City easier to visit and live in. And safer. Don’t forget safer.
Apparently you have. This guy says he will sack Police Commissioner Kelly. He wants to kill “stop and frisk” policies that have helped bring your murder numbers down and down. They have taken truckloads of weapons off your streets. He wants to reverse policies of Bloomy and Giuliani that rescued your streets from thugs.
We don’t understand.
Used to be a battalion of squeegee guys would extort cash from us when we drove into the City. Used to be we did not park on your streets — because we enjoyed our car having a radio. Used to be we didn’t dare break down on the Henry Hudson Parkway. Leave for 30 minutes, we came back to a car without wheels. Leave for an hour, no doors. Today we can park and leave the car unlocked.
Used to be New York was about the most dangerous city in the Western World. Today it is the safest. Used to be we wore bullet-proof undies to walk your streets at night. We looked over our shoulder constantly. These days, none of that.
Used to be we went to Toronto to watch musicals. Rather than chance a mugging or two on Broadway. Now we come to New York.
Used to be waiters and hotel clerks and people on your streets abused us. They abused each other. They were nasty. Because in such a wretched atmosphere they trusted no one. Today, we find friendliness everywhere in the City.
Used to be we could spot the City folks when they arrived Upstate for vacations and weekends. They looked hunted. They looked like they had escaped a jungle. Which they had. These days they tell us they love the upstate quiet. But they love the city too.
You know all those busloads of pink-haired ladies coming into town to lunch and catch a matinee? In the bad old years the buses were carrying pink-haired ladies out of the City.
So what is it with you people and your election?
Finally, you have seen some improvement in your schools. Led by charter schools. Charter schools have made big and positive differences in the lives of your kids.
And you are going to elect a guy who hates them? He promises to make it more costly for charters to operate.
Maybe this is our fault. You drink water from Upstate. Maybe we’ve got rabid raccoons peeing in the water. They do that, you know. Can’t stop ‘em.
Maybe some of our new upstate distilleries are dumpin’ hootch into the streams that feed your reservoirs. And we grow a lot of weed up here. Maybe … ? Who knows?
We are simple folks up here. We don’t understand complicated things like running a big city. But this much we do understand: The Big Apple used to be the Big Cesspool.
We avoided it and you fled it. Because it had four or five times the murders it now has. It had muggings by the tens of thousands. It had areas where cops dared not drive through at high speed. Nastiness to visitors was its middle name.
Today it is much, much, much improved. And now you want to elect a guy who promises to dismantle the very programs that worked for you?
Are youse guys whacky or sumpin’?
From Tom…as in Morgan.
Tom Morgan writes about political, financial, and other subjects from his home near Oneonta, in addition to his radio shows and new TV show. For more information about him, visit his website at www.tomasinmorgan.com
Finger Lakes Viticulture Center Begins a Promising New Chapter for Our Region and Wine Industry
It was an exciting week in our community, as we collectively celebrated the groundbreaking of what will be a transformative and historic endeavor. On Thursday, Oct. 24, I joined Finger Lakes Community College (FLCC) President Barbara Risser, Senator Mike Nozzolio, and other community leaders to launch the construction of the Finger Lakes Viticulture Center in
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It was an exciting week in our community, as we collectively celebrated the groundbreaking of what will be a transformative and historic endeavor. On Thursday, Oct. 24, I joined Finger Lakes Community College (FLCC) President Barbara Risser, Senator Mike Nozzolio, and other community leaders to launch the construction of the Finger Lakes Viticulture Center in Geneva.
Once completed, the Viticulture Center will bolster FLCC’s world-class Viticulture and Wine Technology Program, enhancing the school’s educational offerings, generating new jobs, and allowing our region to achieve greater innovations in agricultural research and development. To learn more about FLCC’s world-class program, please visit the school’s website at http://flcc.edu/academics/viticulture/.
As your assemblyman, I am extremely proud of my work and collaboration with Senator Nozzolio to secure a $3.2 million investment from the state for the new center. As an FLCC graduate, I’m proud of the expansion the school continues to make. And as a resident of the Finger Lakes region, I’m proud that we serve as an example to the rest of New York on how to create jobs, foster business opportunities, and commit to emerging industries.
Serving as an Example for the Rest of New York
The Finger Lakes region is already home to a number of farms and wineries with a proud tradition of producing quality products. With this week’s groundbreaking, we are continuing to cultivate a growing industry and committing to progress. We are not going to rest on past accomplishments, but instead will seize this opportunity to improve the already world-class viticulture sector in New York. A thriving viticulture industry brings jobs, prosperity, and products of which we can be proud.
The new Viticulture Center perfectly represents the direction New York needs to be going and employs the basic principles necessary to get our economy turned around.
§ A continued focus and investment into emerging industries — like our wineries and agriculture — broadens the opportunities for real job growth and gives industry necessary resources and support to achieve long-term success.
§ Providing educational tools and training enables a new generation of workers to develop skill sets that align with industries that need highly trained workers. Just as the Viticulture Center will lead to new innovation and learning, industries like biotechnology and advanced manufacturing will only succeed here if New York has a skilled workforce that is equipped to meet the demand.
§ Developing public-private partnerships, like the collaborative approach used to make the new center a reality, facilitates the sharing of ideas and taps into the expertise of a number of professionals. Government can do its part — but New York State’s businesses succeed when Albany gets out of the way, and local innovators and entrepreneurs have the freedom to achieve their goals.
As we saw this week in Geneva, this recipe for success has become a reality for our region. The continued progress and focus on our local industry will lead to a brighter future for all New York. Breaking ground on the Finger Lakes Viticulture Center is cause for celebration — for the hard work, for the collaboration and because we are putting ourselves on a path toward a sustainable economy.
Brian M. Kolb (R,I,C–Canandaigua) is the New York Assembly Minority Leader and represents the 131st Assembly District, which encompasses all of Ontario County and parts of Seneca County. Contact him at kolbb@assembly.state.ny.us
Cuomo: new law cuts workers’-compensation costs
Gov. Andrew Cuomo on Wednesday detailed a series of measures intended to reduce the cost to employers under New York’s workers’-compensation system 26 percent in
SRC board of trustees names new leadership, officers
CICERO — The board of trustees at SRC, Inc. on Tuesday announced it named M. Catherine Richardson, a retired partner in the Syracuse law firm
WCNY formally opens its broadcast and education center
SYRACUSE — WCNY, Central New York’s public-broadcasting company, today formally opened its new 56,000-square-foot broadcast and education center at 415 W. Fayette St. in Syracuse.
PAR Technology Q3 profit, sales decline
NEW HARTFORD — PAR Technology Corp. (NYSE: PAR) today announced net income of $445,000, or 3 cents per diluted share, during the third quarter that
NBT Bancorp reports higher Q3 profit, increases cash dividend
NORWICH — NBT Bancorp, Inc. (NASDAQ: NBTB) on Monday reported net income of more than $19 million, or 44 cents per diluted share, in the
SBA names top CNY lenders during fiscal year 2013
SYRACUSE — M&T Bank (NYSE: MTB), NBT Bank (NASDAQ: NBTB), and Adirondack Bank are recognized as the “most active” small-business lenders in the Central New
Chemung Financial profit slips in Q3
ELMIRA — Chemung Financial Corporation (NASDAQ: CHMG), the parent company of Chemung Canal Trust Company, on Monday announced net income of $2.2 million, or 47 cents
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