Nuclear Strategies Down at the Ole’ Saloon

Imagine a college-basketball team, named the Eagles. It has lost to the Vultures 80 times over the last 40 years. Can you imagine? The teams meet twice a year, and every year and every game, the Eagles lost. For four decades. The Eagles changed coaches several times. They changed the roster of assistant coaches multiple […]

Already an Subcriber? Log in

Get Instant Access to This Article

Become a Central New York Business Journal subscriber and get immediate access to all of our subscriber-only content and much more.

Imagine a college-basketball team, named the Eagles. It has lost to the Vultures 80 times over the last 40 years. Can you imagine? The teams meet twice a year, and every year and every game, the Eagles lost. For four decades.

The Eagles changed coaches several times. They changed the roster of assistant coaches multiple times. They hired consultants galore. The Eagles sought and acted on advice from any number of basketball experts. They tried different offenses and different defenses. They changed cheerleaders. They even deployed streakers to distract the Vultures.

Countless complicated plays failed for them. Innumerable strategies fell short. The Eagles tried a freeze. The Vultures beat them. The Eagles ran fast-breaks until their lungs screamed. The Vultures whipped them. The Eagles packed the arena with their fans, wall-to-wall. The Vultures won again. The Eagles tried a full-court press, half-court press, and quarter-court press. The Vultures still thumped them.

The desperate Eagles even resorted to using spies — to steal the Vultures’ game plans and plays. They also tried to bribe the Vultures. But the Vultures took the money and beat them anyway.

Bottomline, everything the Eagles tried, failed. They lost every game against those darned Vultures.

Hope springs eternal. This season, the Eagles hired a new coach. A coach with a difference. He has never coached basketball and never even played it. And from the start, he announced an odd-looking game plan for the big Vultures game. No one has ever seen such a weird game plan.

Well, the air is suddenly filled with noise from critics, experts, alumni, fans, coaches — current and retired. Even the cheerleaders chipped in. The plan is stupid, they cry. It can’t work. The coach is a moron. He’ll be blind-sided. He should do this, instead. He should do that. He should be prepared for this from the Vultures.

The new coach silenced them all with one remark: “I will listen to anyone who has been successful against the Vultures.”

That is probably what President Donald Trump should say to the chorus of critics he has aroused. Now that he has signaled he is happy to sit down with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un to discuss Kim’s nuclear bombs and missiles.

The chorus of critics is big. It includes former presidents, former secretaries of state, prime ministers. Korean experts, foreign-policy experts, and defense figures here and abroad. Also, lots of professors, columnists, TV chatterers, and don’t forget the movie stars. They know everything about everything.

Trump does not know what he is doing, they sing out. He is a moron. Kim will outsmart him. Trump should do this, or that. 

Trump should invite all of these critics to a fancy dinner at the White House. With one stipulation. They have to have had previous success with North Korea. Their policies or ideas must have worked with Kim or his father. “If you can show me how you or your ideas succeeded with North Korea, please come to dinner.”

The president would dine alone. And if he felt he needed some good ideas for dealing with Kim he could go for a walk, to the nearest saloon. “I’ll buy a beer for anybody who has got a new idea for dealing with Little Rocket Man Kim.”

Why not? There is no one on earth who has changed Kim and his father’s path to nuclear weapons. All have failed. No one has credibility. The failures of our top people over the years allowed Kim to advance to a highly dangerous position. Nice going, guys. Kim may soon be able to snuff out millions of lives with his nukes.

To all in that chorus of advisers and critics, Trump could ask “Why should I take your advice?” They would find it difficult to answer.

The Eagles plan this week is to try karate against the Vultures. Hey, you never know.

From Tom…as in Morgan.                 

Tom Morgan writes about political, financial, and other subjects from his home near Oneonta. You can find him on Facebook or write to Tom at tomasinmorgan@yahoo.com. Read more of Morgan’s writing at tomasinmorgan.com

 

Tom Morgan: