This Bud’s for you, Deplorable

Senator Elizabeth Warren (D–MA) has joined the ranks of us deplorables now. After announcing for president, she did a livestream broadcast from her kitchen. In it, she grabs a beer from the fridge and takes a slug straight from the bottle.

Well, we have to expect this. Because it comes straight from the “How To Run For President Manual.” Chapter Two. You want to be a contender? You have to show the humble folk you are one of them. You drink beer. Used to be you sucked it from a beer mug. These days, you drink it from the bottle.

One problem for Warren. She looked as natural doing this as she would handling a cobra. She succeeded in igniting a mass groan of “Give us a break!” across our fruited plain. And throughout the watering holes of America.

Warren reminded me of countless politicians whose campaigns scripted beer-quaffing in saloons. The script: “2 pm: Loosen tie, arrive at Barney’s saloon; 2:05 pm: Hoist beer mug, drink from it, say nice things about Italians and Irish, and say you love beer and drink it every night; 2:06: Exit through back door. Then, stop at the rest room to wash your mouth and take a slug of mouthwash.”

Remember the “Beer Summit” at the White House Rose Garden in the summer of 2009? President Obama and VP Joe Biden were desperate to look like regular guys. Their staff set up a fake beer session with a cop (Cambridge, Massachusetts police officer James Crowley) who had been unfairly accused of racial profiling.

The cop showed up in a suit. He knew the meeting was fake and for the cameras. Obama and Biden arrived in rolled-up shirtsleeves. Script: Before stepping from White House, roll up sleeves, and pull shirt-tails slightly out of trousers.

Biden also gave a shout-out to a Wilmington diner during a TV debate. Regular guy, ole’ Joe. Knows his diners, where us deplorables eat. Right. Problem is the diner had been closed for 15 years.

Why do the politicians pull this inane stuff? Well, the truth is, they know we cannot take the truth. The truth is that by the time politicians hit the big stage they live far more like royalty than like real folks.

The big-time pols don’t shop. Or eat Big Macs, wash dishes, run the laundry, or iron. They don’t change tires, handle cash, drive cars, or hunt for parking. They don’t rent cars, make bookings, fly in economy class, stand in line at the DMV, or sit in doctors’ waiting rooms. They don’t run vacuums, rake leaves, or shovel snow. And they sure as hell don’t hang around saloons, or diners.

The reason they pretend to be a beer drinker is that you are. Or you know people who genuinely, authentically are. And you vote.

You are not as likely to see members of British royalty in such fake activities. They like to be popular. But they don’t have to win votes. Our royalty does need support at the ballot box.

This all reminds me of an old remark for which comedian George Burns took credit in his routines (The quote actually preceded him.): “The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”

Now for the wrap, Jaclyn Cashman, of the Boston Herald, wrote this about Sen. Warren’s beer-drinking stunt:

“The most authentic thing about the video, in fact, was its bogusness: Warren once again trying to pretend she is something she is not.”

I’ll drink to that.                       

Tom Morgan writes about political, financial, and other subjects from his home in upstate New York. He has a new novel out, called “The Last Columnist,” which is available on Amazon. Contact Tom at tomasinmorgan@yahoo.com, read more of his writing at tomasinmorgan.com, or find him on Facebook.